I am outsourcing my beer blog to other bloggers. 40/40 brought to you by Pavel in the Punjab province of Pakistan.
No seriously, here is one I just read. Funny stuff.
I am going to note the five things I am a snob about:
1) Beer – Well duh, I am a blogger about beer, 3/4’s German, and 1/4 Irish. Nuff said. Yuengling Lager is as low as I will go. Although I did have a Labbats tonight that was decent. It is a Canadian Bud. I had a kind neighbor who cut and watered the lawn while we were on the West Coast. He likes Labbats so I bought him a case and we had a couple in his den and shot the breeze. I asked him what he liked previously and he told me the blue neighbor from up North. (Me) visiting up in Canada recently, I noticed that they have quite a complex about being subsumed by the U.S. It seemed like every TV commercial had to mention Canada in it to bolster their national identity. The Canadians are kind and nice people. Not sure what happened in Vancouver with the riot. It was pretty chill when we got there. That is supposed to be how stupid Americans act when their teams lose. Although, Canada does take hockey seriously. It is even on their currency last time I checked.
2) Coffee – Maxwell Louse, not thanks. Shitty diner coffee, I would rather abstain. Convenience store Joe (except for Wawa), I’ll hold off until I get home. Green Mountain is my favorite. Starbucks used to be elite but when you see everyone drinking a cup of Starbucks, its star power dims significantly. It is more common than a bag of Doritos. Although I like Starbucks coffee, it is also pretty expensive. Make it at home. I have even thought about growing my own Arabica coffee downstairs in my basement. I will probably get raided by the local cops who think I am growing marijuana. I don’t inhale. Clean as a whistle. Test me anytime.
3) Disposable Bic Pens – I bought some crappy pens under the Staples label that did not work, but did come in an interesting array of colors. I tossed ’em. Seriously, how can Staples in good conscience sell pens that don’t write? That’s like a cow that gives no milk, a hen that hatches no eggs, politicians who don’t bring home the bacon. It was not like there were some miscreants in the batch. None worked without going dry then writing then dry again. If they had been fireworks, the kiddies would have been crying on the 4th because all were duds. I finally ordered the Bic black Soft Feel online that Staples no longer carries because these pens actually work. I paid like two dollars a pen after shipping and all. Screw Staples. I can’t be the only one who had that issue. A statistical impossibility. I know stats. I have a Ph. D. in Ed. Psych. A curse upon ye Staples.
4) Running Shoes – Buy a good pair and save the feet. I was having bad problems with my feet a couple of years ago so I upgraded my running shoes. No problems, plus they last longer. A corollary: white sneaker socks. Buy a better brand than budget rather get in situations like I did with my last round of socks that they would tear as I pulled them onto my feet. Seriously, I am not that strong. I go all in with socks, one brand–all the same. I grew up when socks used to have colored rings around them and would have to play a version of 52 card pickup daily. I am not even sure they make those type of socks anymore. I you wear them, you should get a wedgie.
5) Cigars – Some cheapo cigars must be made from this horse tobacco the Amish around here grow. That stuff isn’t even fit for swine. You can get a hangover off a bad cigar. Plus, your wife will make you sleep elsewhere.